[Oxford63] exhibition
Betsy Cadbury
betsycadbury at yahoo.com
Wed Jul 27 08:35:16 MDT 2011
May I chime in here with sincere condolences for Buena and greetings to all.
What a terrible shock, Buena - I am so, so sorry.
I am particularly aware just now of the bittersweet nature of our life cycle. I
just participated in the marriage of my daughter Cate up in Montreal. Her
husband is a wonderful, charming and talented Canadian immigrant from France, a
Muslim with Moroccan roots, whose entire delightful family came from France for
the wedding. The kids scripted the entire day, from ceremony to reception, with
something for everyone... readings from the Qur'an, Khalil Gibran, music from
Pachelbel and Bach to Moroccan dancing and salsa, long white wedding gown to
Moroccan robes and short dress for the evening of dancing afterwards. They
scripted a greeting for Karim's mother and me to perform in Arabic, French and
English, with both of us speaking unfamiliar languages (we do have French in
common - thank you, thank you, thank you, Mme Lefaivre!). It was a fabulous
day, and the young couple are ecstatically happy and are now honeymooning in
Turkey.
What struck me was the subtle shift in leadership. Up until now, my sister
Peggy and I have been the moving force behind family get-togethers. We have
written the plays and composed the music that celebrated our parents' special
birthdays and anniversaries. We have choreographed and directed the memorial
services, and written the poems that brought us all into unity. And all this
changed with Cate's wedding. In a very gentle and tactful way, she made it
clear that this was her show, and that while my ideas were welcome, I shouldn't
feel hurt if they did it all their way. Which they did, and I wasn't! There
was an element of relief in knowing that this child I have raised and nurtured
has taken over, that the torch has been passed to the next generation, and that
she is more than competent to lead.
All of which seems pertinent to Judy's comments about losing our peers. It is
somehow comforting to me to know that our children are there to "prendre la
releve", and that is as it should be. A thought which doesn't lessen Buena's
pain, but perhaps makes it more bearable?
Love to all, and I hope to see you at our 50th! Betsy
________________________________
From: Susie Margraf <smargraf at ne.rr.com>
To: oxford63 at cyber-community.com
Sent: Wed, July 27, 2011 7:58:23 AM
Subject: Re: [Oxford63] exhibition
My e-mail is finally up and running again. We are in friendship,Maine for the
summer about to have the 5 grandchildren,5 and under arrive! It has meant so
much to feel re connected through classmates' responses to Buena's sudden loss.
I agree with Judy this is a time in life when we are losing more and more loved
ones and dear friends. Support and caring truly are significant. I feel so
fortunate to be able to be on the beautiful coast of Maine where it is hard to
believe some days that the rest of the world is happening.
It was even 100 degrees here last week. Best Wishes, Susie Margraf
{smargraf at ne.rr.com}
On Jul 26, 2011, at 4:52 PM, brucket at aol.com wrote:
Judy, that was a beautiful email. I know when my brother died unexpectedly in
2008, the messages from our classmates really meant so much to me. Buena's
daughter moved to Atlanta and we had Mikaela and her husband for dinner in
April. Buena will be here in a few weeks and I hope to see her. The
grandchildren will be in town so we may be at the beach but hopefully we will
overlap for at least a day.
>Nanny-co's daughter moved here a number of years ago. If anyone is coming to
>Atlanta, please let me know. We rarely have free time when in Philly and DC so I
>understand when people come to visit kids.
>Hope all of you up north have cooled off. We are used to the heat but it was
>hotter in the NE than here.
>
>
>
>Barbara Rucket
>Brucket at aol.com
>
>
>_______________________________________________
>oxford63 mailing list
>oxford63 at cyber-community.com
>http://mailman.cybermesa.com/mailman/listinfo/oxford63
>
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