[Oxford63] exhibition

Betsy Cadbury betsycadbury at yahoo.com
Wed Jul 27 08:35:16 MDT 2011

May I chime in here with sincere condolences for Buena and greetings to all. 
 What a terrible shock, Buena - I am so, so sorry.  

I am particularly aware just now of the bittersweet nature of our life cycle.  I 
just participated in the marriage of my daughter Cate up in Montreal.  Her 
husband is a wonderful, charming and talented Canadian immigrant from France, a 
Muslim with Moroccan roots, whose entire delightful family came from France for 
the wedding.  The kids scripted the entire day, from ceremony to reception, with 
something for everyone... readings from the Qur'an, Khalil Gibran, music from 
Pachelbel and Bach to Moroccan dancing and salsa, long white wedding gown to 
Moroccan robes and short dress for the evening of dancing afterwards.  They 
scripted a greeting for Karim's mother and me to perform in Arabic, French and 
English, with both of us speaking unfamiliar languages (we do have French in 
common - thank you, thank you, thank you, Mme Lefaivre!).  It was a fabulous 
day, and the young couple are ecstatically happy and are now honeymooning in 

What struck me was the subtle shift in leadership.  Up until now, my sister 
Peggy and I have been the moving force behind family get-togethers.  We have 
written the plays and composed the music that celebrated our parents' special 
birthdays and anniversaries.  We have choreographed and directed the memorial 
services, and written the poems that brought us all into unity.  And all this 
changed with Cate's wedding.  In a very gentle and tactful way, she made it 
clear that this was her show, and that while my ideas were welcome, I shouldn't 
feel hurt if they did it all their way.  Which they did, and I wasn't!  There 
was an element of relief in knowing that this child I have raised and nurtured 
has taken over, that the torch has been passed to the next generation, and that 
she is more than competent to lead.  

All of which seems pertinent to Judy's comments about losing our peers.  It is 
somehow comforting to me to know that our children are there to "prendre la 
releve", and that is as it should be.  A thought which doesn't lessen Buena's 
pain, but perhaps makes it more bearable?

Love to all, and I hope to see you at our 50th!  Betsy

From: Susie Margraf <smargraf at ne.rr.com>
To: oxford63 at cyber-community.com
Sent: Wed, July 27, 2011 7:58:23 AM
Subject: Re: [Oxford63] exhibition

My e-mail is finally up and running again. We are in friendship,Maine for the 
summer about to have the 5 grandchildren,5 and under arrive! It has meant  so 
much to feel re connected through classmates' responses to Buena's sudden loss. 
I agree with Judy this is a time in life when we are losing more and more loved 
ones and dear friends. Support and caring truly are significant. I feel so 
fortunate to be able to be on the beautiful coast of Maine where it is hard to 
believe some days that the rest of the world  is happening.
It was even 100 degrees here last week. Best Wishes, Susie Margraf 
 {smargraf at ne.rr.com}

On Jul 26, 2011, at 4:52 PM, brucket at aol.com wrote:

 Judy, that was a beautiful email. I know when my brother died unexpectedly in 
2008, the messages from our classmates really meant so much to me. Buena's 
daughter moved to Atlanta and we had Mikaela and her husband for dinner in 
April. Buena will be here in a few weeks and I hope to see her. The 
grandchildren will be in town so we may be at the beach but hopefully we will 
overlap for at least a day.
>Nanny-co's daughter moved here a number of years ago. If anyone is coming to 
>Atlanta, please let me know. We rarely have free time when in Philly and DC so I 
>understand when people come to visit kids.
>Hope all of you up north have cooled off. We are used to the heat but it was 
>hotter in the NE than here.
>Barbara Rucket
>Brucket at aol.com
>oxford63 mailing list
>oxford63 at cyber-community.com
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: http://mailman.cybermesa.com/pipermail/oxford63/attachments/20110727/fda02de7/attachment-0007.html 

More information about the oxford63 mailing list