[Oxford63] exhibition

MVSPS at aol.com MVSPS at aol.com
Wed Jul 27 16:29:11 MDT 2011

Betsy - do you have a photo of the happy couple?
In a message dated 7/27/2011 10:35:27 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,  
betsycadbury at yahoo.com writes:

May I chime in here with sincere condolences for Buena and greetings to  
all.  What a terrible shock, Buena - I am so, so sorry.  

I am particularly aware just now of the bittersweet nature of our life  
cycle.  I just participated in the marriage of my daughter Cate up in  
Montreal.  Her husband is a wonderful, charming and talented Canadian  immigrant 
from France, a Muslim with Moroccan roots, whose entire delightful  family came 
from France for the wedding.  The kids scripted the entire  day, from 
ceremony to reception, with something for everyone... readings from  the Qur'an, 
Khalil Gibran, music from Pachelbel and Bach to Moroccan dancing  and salsa, 
long white wedding gown to Moroccan robes and short dress for the  evening 
of dancing afterwards.  They scripted a greeting for Karim's  mother and me 
to perform in Arabic, French and English, with both of us  speaking 
unfamiliar languages (we do have French in common - thank you, thank  you, thank 
you, Mme Lefaivre!).  It was a fabulous day, and the young  couple are 
ecstatically happy and are now honeymooning in Turkey. 

What struck me was the subtle shift in leadership.  Up until now, my  
sister Peggy and I have been the moving force behind family get-togethers.  We 
have written the plays and composed the music that celebrated our  parents' 
special birthdays and anniversaries.  We have choreographed and  directed the 
memorial services, and written the poems that brought us all into  unity.  
And all this changed with Cate's wedding.  In a very gentle  and tactful way, 
she made it clear that this was her show, and that while my  ideas were 
welcome, I shouldn't feel hurt if they did it all their way.  Which they did, 
and I wasn't!  There was an element of relief in  knowing that this child I 
have raised and nurtured has taken over, that the  torch has been passed to 
the next generation, and that she is more than  competent to lead.  

All of which seems pertinent to Judy's comments about losing our peers.  It 
is somehow comforting to me to know that our children are there to  
"prendre la releve", and that is as it should be.  A thought which  doesn't lessen 
Buena's pain, but perhaps makes it more bearable?

Love to all, and I hope to see you at our 50th!  Betsy

 From: Susie Margraf  <smargraf at ne.rr.com>
To:  oxford63 at cyber-community.com
Sent: Wed, July 27, 2011 7:58:23  AM
Subject: Re: [Oxford63]  exhibition

My e-mail is finally up and running again. We are in  friendship,Maine for 
the summer about to have the 5 grandchildren,5 and under  arrive! It has 
meant  so much to feel re connected through classmates'  responses to Buena's 
sudden loss. I agree with Judy this is a time in life  when we are losing 
more and more loved ones and dear friends. Support and  caring truly are 
significant. I feel so fortunate to be able to be on the  beautiful coast of Maine 
where it is hard to believe some days that the rest  of the world  is 
It was even 100 degrees here last week. Best Wishes, Susie Margraf  
{smargraf at ne.rr.com}

On Jul 26, 2011, at 4:52 PM, _brucket at aol.com_ (mailto:brucket at aol.com)  

 (http://mailman.cybermesa.com/mailman/listinfo/oxford63) Judy, that was a 
beautiful email. I know when my brother died  unexpectedly in 2008, the 
messages from our classmates really meant so much  to me. Buena's daughter moved 
to Atlanta and we had Mikaela and her husband  for dinner in April. Buena 
will be here in a few weeks and I hope to see  her. The grandchildren will be 
in town so we may be at the beach but  hopefully we will overlap for at 
least a day.
Nanny-co's daughter moved  here a number of years ago. If anyone is coming 
to Atlanta, please let me  know. We rarely have free time when in Philly and 
DC so I understand when  people come to visit kids.
Hope all of you up north have cooled off. We  are used to the heat but it 
was hotter in the NE than here.

Barbara Rucket
_Brucket at aol.com_ (mailto:Brucket at aol.com) 

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